Making Changes | It's Time


2 weeks & 3 days. That's how long since my last post. And even then, my posts have been few and far between because having 2 kids is hard. It's very time consuming. But I love it. I love both my children more than life itself.

So, quick update. Post natal depression & anxiety have reared their ugly heads but this time I have caught my symptoms earlier and accepted it and the help that has been offered (a huge thanks to YouTuber Sqaishey for her video on mental health awareness and accepting help) - so fingers crossed I can come out the other side a lot quicker this time. Ellie is doing well, I'll be posting an update on her at 3 months, and the next few months are busy busy busy but I'm going to keep trying to write posts. I 'm sort of in a bit of a slump when it comes to content ideas that aren't parenting and motherhood. I might start doing a few reviews, maybe a bit of gaming - I dunno, we'll see!

I also hit a point of being totally fed up with myself the other day - even more so than when I wrote my Road to Positivity post. I hate the way I look and how I feel. I immediately hopped onto google and started looking at the best ways to get fit and have decided to join my local gym and start a few of their classes. I'm also going to join Slimming World, and I have asked my sister (who lost a butt-ton of weight and looks fantastic!) for a bit of support and advice along the way - and she has graciously agreed!

Here's to a new me!

Making Changes | The Road To Positivity


I have always pegged myself as a positive person. Outgoing, bubbly, easygoing. And very recently, it hit me like a big bus of depression. I'm no longer that positive person I used to be.

Dun dun dun!

Upon this realisation, I immediately started thinking about how I could go back to being that person again. And, very quickly, realised that is so unrealistic as that person didn't have 2 children. She didn't have bills and a house to run. In short, I will never be that positive girl again.

BUT.

I can be a newer version. I can be a much more mature positive woman. I just need to try. I need to find what works for me. I need to cut out the negativity and surround myself with positive people and 'things'.

After I had Alex I suffered with PND, and now that I've had Ellie I can feel myself slipping down that same road again. This is the last thing I want. I hated who I was during that time of depression and anxiety and I still hate the person I am now. My self esteem is at an all time low and it's time I put a stop to it.

And so, I want to bring you guys along for the ride. Upon my realisation that I am in fact Miss Negativity, I immediately hopped onto YouTube to hunt for tips on how to stay positive even when times are tough. The end result from this was that I had made myself feel more negative as all these people were so positive that it made me sad that I wasn't like that. I did find a couple of useful videos (including this one from Rebecca Meldrum - I love her by the way) and I have a few things I can try now. The consensus seems to be that it's actually ok to have a bad day - you don't need to be positive 100% of the time. It seems a bit backwards but punishing yourself for having an off day is just going to make you feel worse. The other everyone advises to do is to work out what is causing the negativity and fix it. Where is the negativity coming from? Is it other people? Or is it coming from yourself?

So, I'm now of to brew myself a big pot of Positivi-Tea (get it?) while Elliedocus sleeps and try and find my 'happy place' before picking Alexsaurus up from pre-school.

If anyone has any book recommendations or YouTube channels or anything that can help me on my journey to being a more positive person - please, let me know.